Justification.
I am the kind of girl who, raising a bottle of water to her mouth, ends up spilling it down the front of her shirt because it's less the concrete fact of the water hitting my throat and more the idea of it that quenches my thirst.
I dream a lot, introspect one night every week(right on schedule) and overthink everything. Nothing I do or have ever done is good enough for me.(Or for anyone else, for that matter) It feels good to write down these negative feelings, whether I post them or not. I usually do post them, because it liberates me: the words are not just my property anymore; on the tip of my tongue with my lips sealed tightly shut to prevent even the least bit of sound from escaping.
Why did I set such an arbitrary goal for my own life? Why did the people around me set other arbitrary goals for me? And why do I keep asking myself these questions, knowing that the answers are always going to be unknown to me?
None of this is what I truly want to say. Or maybe it is, and I just don't dare let myself pin it down with real, actual words.
Signing off, because it's late and I'm beginning to make myself sick with the sheer loneliness.
