Disappointment.

Re-reading my old blog posts makes me wonder where that girl has gone. The one who approached every new thing with wonder; didn't just sit there passively, letting all the entertainment wash over her. The one whose primary time-suck wasn't that ridiculous website where you don't even need a brain to scroll down and find something funny and/or droll.

She loved to read, and to recommend books to friends.
She'd be ashamed to find that every single book she'd bought in the last six months was lying in her room, unread and unloved.

She loved to write, and imagined wild scenarios, with axe murderers and witches, demons and princesses, and, of course, little kids going on adventures.
She'd be sad to realise the last couple of months the only thing open in a word processor was coursework-related. No original ideas, no time devoted to actually hammering out some stories.

She was big-mouthed and opinionated, and passionate about the books/movies/tv shows she watched. Not someone who googled for every silly thing, but who composed her own thoughts, and sat and wrote them down for the world to refer to.
She'd be depressed when she knew she hadn't had a new thing to say on her blog for months now, except for her (extremely shitty) love life, and rice cooker recipes.

Ah well. Depression comes and goes. I should know.

Laters,

Katze.

Journeys

Because why the hell not.

Life is Stranger than Fiction...

…Because Fiction has to be convincing, and Life doesn't.               -Neil Gaiman

I hereby decide to write another post. Why? Because of all-consuming jealousy, of course. What better reason could there be?

I don't write on serious topics. I shun life-altering truths and other such things. If you ever went through my blog, you'd find very superficial topics; all relevant to me, me, me. And that's good enough, because I use the web to escape from realities, from the world that freaks me out: so much that I wonder if there's a place out there for me at all.

But recently my life online has begun to merge slowly(and not without pain) into my real life. Mostly because I've neglected one in favour of the other.

(That's probably how it should be.)

Real life is painful, but its joys are so much more than the joys of the mind. The full-body-thrumming feeling you get when something goes terribly, terribly right. When someone says something that means a lot, even if it's just a simple thank-you. When you've caused tears and you know they're happy ones. And there's other feelings- when it's early in the morning or the night air is biting at your nose and you hear your heart pounding in your ears as you take a deep breath; you're so happy to be alive.

Even sadness has some undefinable quality: like that feeling after you've had a good cry and you know nothing worse can happen to you. The hurt of words spoken in anger, cutting you to the bone and leaving your inner self exposed to the world.

It's, well, it's all real.

And that is what makes me close my laptop, against all odds, and go out into the big, bad world.

Katze

P.S. I'm beginning to feel like a poet.

P.P.S. Meanwhile, trying to study the reasons English is a world language. Apparently, it's got to do with the English going to almost every country in the world. *shrug*

Also struggling with matrix representations of the Schrödinger equation. Well-balanced workload FTW.

Zeus: Master of Olympus

<3 p="p">City-building games.

And stuffs.

I officially have stopped caring about what people think about my writing. I swear.
*Deep breath*
Ah, that feels much better.

Now, onto what I really wanted to write about today.

There's this super-awesome, completely addictive online game called Rebuild 2:

Here it is: Linky

(btw, just in case you didn't notice, 'Linky' is blue, and that means it's hyperlinked, so CLICK ON IT.)

So it's your standard after-zombie-apocalypse city-building game. OR IS IT?

No, actually, it is just that. But it's a seriously great game, so much that I stayed up till 2 am last night staring my eyes out playing it. Aren't I just too darn awesome? :D

City building is absorbing like nothing else, ever. I loved all these games that my brother loved, too, and we would've had the best times playing them(if he wasn't so busy trying to take control of the mouse and I wasn't so busy trying to tell him what was best for our civilisation, that is ;) )

We played: (mini list follows)

1. Age of Empires
 My first love. *sentimental sigh* The first time I used cheats in a game, too.

2. Age of Empires 2
 But of course :P

3. Pharaoh
 This was a brilliant, brilliant game. You are an Egyptian leader, and you eventually(I assume, I never finished the game) become Pharaoh over all Egypt. There were actually two more in this pack, I can recall, and the one which I loved, even more than Pharoah, was

4. Zeus (and its expansion pack, Poseidon)
 I loved this soo much, I hate that it doesn't work on Mac. Hate it like Hades hated his brothers for giving him the underworld in that Disney movie. It was supersupersuper awesome and I loved it. I actually got the chills each time my city had a God rampage, or a natural disaster. There were earthquakes and floods, minotaurs and satyrs, and everything filled me with a dreadful uncertainty that my city was going to collapse.

The scary-looking covered things are actually statues for a Temple!

 There were these little delivery guys, and whenever the warehouses filled up too fast, they had to go from one to the other, trying to drop their goods. When you clicked on them, they went, "Who am I Odysseus? When is my journey going to end? And where's Calypso??" Lawl, good times, good times.

5. Caesar
 Though nothing could beat Zeus.

We played Football Manager, too, after that. He still does, though I don't have the patience for it. Suddenly I feel the nostalgia overcome me.

Excuse me while I go weep for my lost childhood.

Katze

On Arguments

Why do people argue? Why do they fight? I'm writing this, thinking about the dark, scary underbelly of life; which I would never normally go into here. This blog is for fantasy books and movies, Tokio Hotel and Anime. And for writing(turns out it's mostly for writing ;) )

But even someone like me--who goes on pretending there is no bad in people--has to come face-to-face with it sometime. The shades of grey people are born with that makes them antagonise each other.

((Argh. As I read back my words, I realise I've become stilted and unsure in my writing again. I can't really help it, though. Reality always takes a lot out of me to write about.))

And the basic fact is, while I would love to live in a world where good was good and evil was evil, it just isn't the case. There are no Sauron-like monsters out there; just (more or less) normal people with differing beliefs.

...

And this hurts me, because sometimes I end up hurting someone I really, genuinely like, because their points of view are different from mine. :(

...or something like that.

Katze.

No, I have not hurt someone recently. I'm just saying, that if I do, I have a feeling I won't be forgiven. Whoever it is will 100% not read this blog post, and so I feel safe saying this.

Plus, I changed the design of my blog again! I rather liked the previous font, but it made all the punctuation unreadable; and we couldn't have that happen to us, could we? Any inputs on it this time? ( I doubt I'll get an answer since I'm not posting this on facebook :P)

My Happy Wonderful Amazing First Week

So I'm back from my prolonged jaunt halfway across the world, ready for a new semester filled with new purpose. More about that later(read in the distant future).

What I really wanted to talk about(write about, but you know what I mean) is my very first week at IITB. I never wrote one of those oh-so-cliche 'My Happy Wonderful Amazing First Week at IITB' essays, and reading some over now--let me tell you, it is not happy reading--I'm beginning to realize why.

Everyone who reads what you have to write will have had similar experiences. No one wants to hear for the millionth time how 'cool' the cult orientation was, or how 'awesome' the tech orientation was/had to be. And I didn't want to be one of those people. So I never wrote anything about my first week. In fact, I didn't show anyone at all any of my writing up until the second semester, when Madam(there's only the one :) ) bullied me into letting her read some of my stuff.

Looking back on it, there are things that seemed terribly important at the time, things that I needed to do, places I needed to find. But those aren't the things that have stayed with me. Here's some that have:

1. The smile on my swimming senior's face when I first filled up the NSO registration. I was so nervous, sitting across from the mess table from a fifthie, that I almost forgot to smile back.

2. The stuff that H4 shouted during cult orientation. Bloody hell.

3. The first time I entered the LHC. Amazing. Airconditioned classrooms, I should've known it wasn't going to last.

4. All those new people. I'm never going to have that chance, of going to a place where no one knows anyone else, and making friends indiscriminately, ever again. That's kind of sad, because I think I'll do better this time around. At least I won't announce to the world that I'm 'not an interesting person' anymore. *blushes and wonders if people believed her*

Oh, and I was having a look at the archives and found this:

Linky, linky, linky

So I guess I didn't write the crap I thought I did after all.

Feeling inordinately proud of myself, signing off.

New Format :)

Qwertyuiop. Don't mind me. Just checking out this cool iPad I've been ordered to finish the net balance on. Aren't I lucky? Anyway, this is going to be a short post, just to inform you people(if anyone is indeed listening) that I plan to update weekly from now on, following a strict schedule which will, likely, be broken for half-a-dozen reasons. But I will try. I promise. My posts, along with the ordinary, infrequent ones about things I love and real life(though I was never supposed to mention it at all) will be me writing fiction, but about things I've experienced. I feel like I have experienced quite a bit, though I haven't been around all that long. But this way, I figure at least I'll have a reason to write, and at regular intervals, too. First one when I get the "proper" net back. Tomorrow, possibly. But most probably Sunday. Till then, Ciao. BdK

Senti and Interview With A Fire Demon

So I was looking over my old posts, and I had a lump in my throat when I realised that all the effort I'd gone to, all the seriously good writing that I had put into my blog posts had gone completely and utterly to waste. Because, honestly, no one cares.

Three minute Post

So, and forgive me my typos since I literally have three minutes before the network shuts down courtesy a little thing called LAN ban, I thought I'd see how much I could write in three minutes, and of what caliber the post would turn out to be. Turns out I can barely turn out a coherent post, and even then, the LAN shuts off before I can post it.

Peace, people. :)

Christopher Paolini: Copycat! Copycat!

Eragon and Star Wars.

What have they got in common?

Oh, nothing. EXCEPT THE WHOLE PLOT.

I'm not actually kidding.

Wow, it's been a while

It really has. Ever since I came away to college, even after I bought a brand-new lappy(that's laptop to the less squeally-minded) and got a lan-cord, so I could surf--with the exception of ALL the fun sites(The IITB internet facility is designed to cater to your ACADEMIC needs!)

The Cat Barks

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

BelltdieKatze has officially rechristened her blog 'The Cat Barks' ...um, duh.

It was about time I gave up that stupid name : Written Thoughts, you served me well. R.I.P.

I don't remember what gave me the idea of 'The Cat Barks'; or, as my username suggests, BelltdieKatze, which is the approximation in Deutsch ...actually I do ;)

Um, so, anyway, I'm hoping that people will like the banner --that I slaved most of the afternoon over(lies, lies, all lies, I barely spent ten minutes on it...)

I dunno if it's perfect, but it's good. Yeah.

Bdk

P.S. Comment on the banner, please! I need to know if I'm good or bad at making them, since this is the first time I've ever done something like it.