Retreat.

All the music I hear is conspiring against me.

Social media is plotting my mental defeat.

Am I going mad? (No.)

Am I driving myself insane? (Yes.)

Endsems are almost here. I gave my quizzes with my eyes barely open and the thoughts buzzing like wasps in my head, the kind of wasps that go round and round with no sense in my room when it's late and it's almost like they're manifestations of some vague horror movie ghost(thankfully no clearer since I watch horror movies with my eyes closed and my ears pinched shut).

And now? Everything is in my head, right? I mustn't admit any confusion, my misery is all made-up, after all, I have everything to be thankful for and nothing to dread.

But like I said. Everything(everyone??) is plotting against me. I have no defenses(I leave chinks in my armor, all over). My heart keeps up this dull throb of pain and the thoughts buzz in my head.

Situation: unnecessarily complicated(by me, of course).

It's true. The guilt bogs me down. I hesitate to admit my feelings of inadequacy and woe. Especially woe. People will think I've gone mad(I have gone mad).

I'm retreating.