NaNoWriMo and Introspection

It's that time of the year again.

November, time for NaNoWriMo. And time to think.

Think about what, the stragglers in the back ask. Well, that's why you shouldn't go in late to lectures and sleep on the last bench. You miss all the important parts.(this coming from someone with quite some experience in the field :P)

I think about why I want to write, and what I want to write, and who I want to write it for. The answers come to me sometimes: I don't know, I really don't know, and no one.

Q: Why?
A: Because I. Don't. Stop. I think I can't. It must be some kind of hormonal disorder, I believe, which causes me to fan over books of all kinds, and to fill up ones which are empty on the inside.(The latter kind include journals, diaries, word documents, and Chetan Bhagat books.) Anyway, every year, I haven't thought about writing for a while, when boom! NaNo comes knocking around, filled with supportive forums, motivating pep talks: and that all-important goal. Write a novel. Sounding deceptively simple; so easy to achieve. After all, millions of people have done it. Millions more will do it again and again; as long as there are readers--and even if there aren't--people will write.

Q: What?
A: I have no idea. The last few things I decided to write involved: a 300-year-old demon,  a student blackmailing a teacher, the lead singer of a rock band; and a rich girl with too much time on her hands.

Q: Who?
A: That's actually the easiest question to answer. Myself. I write for myself and no one else. This blog is the best example of that, actually. When people started reading it, I stopped writing for myself and the blog posts became rushed and incoherent. I hated my writing then, as I never have before. This is true. I want to bring that feeling back, the feeling that no one else was interested- and therefore no one else's opinion of my writing counted. All my (short) online life I've wanted readers. Now I have a few, I wish they'd stop hovering around the back of my mind and let me write as freely as I used to.

Katze.

P.S. Please don't take this as me asking you, whoever you are, to stop reading my blog. That's why I do the facebook publi :P. I just had five million(read five) people ask me what I was going on about on the fanfic post I put up before. I then realised how difficult it is to please readers once you've gained them. :D

P.P.S. NaNoWriMo was the original subject: scroll up and you'll see that. It's National Novel Writing Month; a challenge you set yourself to write a novel in a month.

I will do it this year, damn it.